What's an Antonym for Rhetorical?

I just spent too long reading and following up links on Pandagon. I specifically got sucked in to the post on being a feminist boyfriend. I didn't even manage to get through half of the 100 or so comments.

It did start me thinking about my own feminism. Inadvertantly, I swear--I wasn't specifically seeking out feminist topics, I was just bored at work and browsing through Hops' blog roll.

I don't worry about being a feminist boyfriend, because I don't have girlfriends. I do, however, worry about being a feminist person (aka a feminist) and I don't think it's a bad idea to set out what, exactly, that means.

Sexual equality is such an easy assumption for me. The fact that we should expect the same quality of work from men and women. The fact that both sexes should expect the same treatment. In my modern dance class at university (yes, I'm one of those kind of guys--actually, I thought 'modern dance' meant something that would be useful on Friday nights, which gets me laughing at my naivety now) I was in a group with two girls to choreograph a dance. Wiry, tall, weak-as-hell Mike. Short, heavy, religious Zany. Pierced, tattooed, biceped Amber. And Zany thought I would be willing to lift her, despite our class having at no time gone over lifts. Despite Amber being obviously stronger than me. I kind of laughed in her face. I consider it a branch of feminism not to have to participate in such a male gender role. (Not to mention such false heterosexual choreography.)

It's so easy for me to expect the same things from men and women, because most women are both stronger and smarter than I am, that I wonder whether I'm not actually unconsciously perpetuating certain problems...though I don't know what.

Ha--two sexes. Nice binary there. Like I said, I'm not entrenched in the heterosexual world view, and I have trouble thinking of things from a feminist perspective because I have troubles of my own. I'm not overly preoccupied with the general idea of feminism because it sounds like a foregone conclusion in todays' world.

The problem with that belief is when I go back home and hang out with the kids I grew up with, and they make some basic attempts at obvious censorship concerning racist comments, sexist comments, homophobic comments (am I missing out on a better adjective for that last one?), etc.

I support women's suffrage. (No shit.) I do not support the glass ceiling. (I don't think we need to race right out and elect a female president solely based on her sex, just as I don't think we should elect a black president solely based solely on his skin.)

I support capable women and men in the workplace. I support capable men and women in sports. Who am I kidding, I support no one in sports besides Lyndsay Wall, but you get the point.

What else is there?

I don't think people should stop talking about feminism, particularly because I know those kids from home need someone to get through to them.


As I said, I spent a long time tracking down the links on Pandagon, one of which led me to Pam's House Blend on the topic of sexual abuse in public places. The surprising thing, when I was reading the comments, was that they twisted into an argument about transvestites being allowed in women's changing rooms.

That sexual binary, coming back to bite us in the ass. Persephone, the woman arguing to keep "all non-women" out of female locker rooms, etc, really leaves me confused. Is it that she is afraid of being looked at with desire (aka she's never heard of lesbians), or that she's afraid of seeing physical differences (aka she's never seen anyone else's body)?

I'm not really sure I'm equipped to take up this topic. But it does bring to mind a Southpark episode that my brother references often, in which a character had a "species-change operation" and was offended when the football stadium didn't have seating for dolphins. What does Persephone want, a third room in all public areas for Other?

Frankly, I haven't been to a gym or any public changing room in forever, because it makes me feel horribly anxious. It's not that I'm worried that other people will check me out. It's not that I'm worried about being roughed up after checking someone else out. It's that I'm worried about making someone else feel uncomfortable, just knowing I'm there, possibly checking them out.

And that's pretty awful. I like swimming, and I haven't gone to the public pool at the Y across the street because I know there are people out there like Persephone.

I don't consider myself a champion of gay rights. Or a champion of feminism. I consider myself a regular person who tries to slap down prejudice whenever it pops up. Sometimes it's like a Whack-A-Mole, but most of the time it seems like a non-issue.

What else is there?