Who's down with androgyny? Yeah, you know me
OK, so I'm not that into OPP. But androgyny is fun, breaks the status quo, and upsets idiots everywhere. And how can it get better than that?
I'd get more worked up about the idiotic comments from my coworker ("That's sad," referencing a picture of a popular guy in Japan, who we both agreed it was hard to tell his sex) but I can't care that much about someone I've already decided isn't worth it.
I have this trend of writing people off pretty quickly. Sweet! --Might make it hard in the low-number-of-friends period that's about to kick off when I move to the US..
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Showing posts with label friends. Show all posts
Friday, July 11, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
What's an Antonym for Rhetorical?
I just spent too long reading and following up links on Pandagon. I specifically got sucked in to the post on being a feminist boyfriend. I didn't even manage to get through half of the 100 or so comments.
It did start me thinking about my own feminism. Inadvertantly, I swear--I wasn't specifically seeking out feminist topics, I was just bored at work and browsing through Hops' blog roll.
I don't worry about being a feminist boyfriend, because I don't have girlfriends. I do, however, worry about being a feminist person (aka a feminist) and I don't think it's a bad idea to set out what, exactly, that means.
Sexual equality is such an easy assumption for me. The fact that we should expect the same quality of work from men and women. The fact that both sexes should expect the same treatment. In my modern dance class at university (yes, I'm one of those kind of guys--actually, I thought 'modern dance' meant something that would be useful on Friday nights, which gets me laughing at my naivety now) I was in a group with two girls to choreograph a dance. Wiry, tall, weak-as-hell Mike. Short, heavy, religious Zany. Pierced, tattooed, biceped Amber. And Zany thought I would be willing to lift her, despite our class having at no time gone over lifts. Despite Amber being obviously stronger than me. I kind of laughed in her face. I consider it a branch of feminism not to have to participate in such a male gender role. (Not to mention such false heterosexual choreography.)
It's so easy for me to expect the same things from men and women, because most women are both stronger and smarter than I am, that I wonder whether I'm not actually unconsciously perpetuating certain problems...though I don't know what.
Ha--two sexes. Nice binary there. Like I said, I'm not entrenched in the heterosexual world view, and I have trouble thinking of things from a feminist perspective because I have troubles of my own. I'm not overly preoccupied with the general idea of feminism because it sounds like a foregone conclusion in todays' world.
The problem with that belief is when I go back home and hang out with the kids I grew up with, and they make some basic attempts at obvious censorship concerning racist comments, sexist comments, homophobic comments (am I missing out on a better adjective for that last one?), etc.
I support women's suffrage. (No shit.) I do not support the glass ceiling. (I don't think we need to race right out and elect a female president solely based on her sex, just as I don't think we should elect a black president solely based solely on his skin.)
I support capable women and men in the workplace. I support capable men and women in sports. Who am I kidding, I support no one in sports besides Lyndsay Wall, but you get the point.
What else is there?
I don't think people should stop talking about feminism, particularly because I know those kids from home need someone to get through to them.
As I said, I spent a long time tracking down the links on Pandagon, one of which led me to Pam's House Blend on the topic of sexual abuse in public places. The surprising thing, when I was reading the comments, was that they twisted into an argument about transvestites being allowed in women's changing rooms.
That sexual binary, coming back to bite us in the ass. Persephone, the woman arguing to keep "all non-women" out of female locker rooms, etc, really leaves me confused. Is it that she is afraid of being looked at with desire (aka she's never heard of lesbians), or that she's afraid of seeing physical differences (aka she's never seen anyone else's body)?
I'm not really sure I'm equipped to take up this topic. But it does bring to mind a Southpark episode that my brother references often, in which a character had a "species-change operation" and was offended when the football stadium didn't have seating for dolphins. What does Persephone want, a third room in all public areas for Other?
Frankly, I haven't been to a gym or any public changing room in forever, because it makes me feel horribly anxious. It's not that I'm worried that other people will check me out. It's not that I'm worried about being roughed up after checking someone else out. It's that I'm worried about making someone else feel uncomfortable, just knowing I'm there, possibly checking them out.
And that's pretty awful. I like swimming, and I haven't gone to the public pool at the Y across the street because I know there are people out there like Persephone.
I don't consider myself a champion of gay rights. Or a champion of feminism. I consider myself a regular person who tries to slap down prejudice whenever it pops up. Sometimes it's like a Whack-A-Mole, but most of the time it seems like a non-issue.
What else is there?
It did start me thinking about my own feminism. Inadvertantly, I swear--I wasn't specifically seeking out feminist topics, I was just bored at work and browsing through Hops' blog roll.
I don't worry about being a feminist boyfriend, because I don't have girlfriends. I do, however, worry about being a feminist person (aka a feminist) and I don't think it's a bad idea to set out what, exactly, that means.
Sexual equality is such an easy assumption for me. The fact that we should expect the same quality of work from men and women. The fact that both sexes should expect the same treatment. In my modern dance class at university (yes, I'm one of those kind of guys--actually, I thought 'modern dance' meant something that would be useful on Friday nights, which gets me laughing at my naivety now) I was in a group with two girls to choreograph a dance. Wiry, tall, weak-as-hell Mike. Short, heavy, religious Zany. Pierced, tattooed, biceped Amber. And Zany thought I would be willing to lift her, despite our class having at no time gone over lifts. Despite Amber being obviously stronger than me. I kind of laughed in her face. I consider it a branch of feminism not to have to participate in such a male gender role. (Not to mention such false heterosexual choreography.)
It's so easy for me to expect the same things from men and women, because most women are both stronger and smarter than I am, that I wonder whether I'm not actually unconsciously perpetuating certain problems...though I don't know what.
Ha--two sexes. Nice binary there. Like I said, I'm not entrenched in the heterosexual world view, and I have trouble thinking of things from a feminist perspective because I have troubles of my own. I'm not overly preoccupied with the general idea of feminism because it sounds like a foregone conclusion in todays' world.
The problem with that belief is when I go back home and hang out with the kids I grew up with, and they make some basic attempts at obvious censorship concerning racist comments, sexist comments, homophobic comments (am I missing out on a better adjective for that last one?), etc.
I support women's suffrage. (No shit.) I do not support the glass ceiling. (I don't think we need to race right out and elect a female president solely based on her sex, just as I don't think we should elect a black president solely based solely on his skin.)
I support capable women and men in the workplace. I support capable men and women in sports. Who am I kidding, I support no one in sports besides Lyndsay Wall, but you get the point.
What else is there?
I don't think people should stop talking about feminism, particularly because I know those kids from home need someone to get through to them.
As I said, I spent a long time tracking down the links on Pandagon, one of which led me to Pam's House Blend on the topic of sexual abuse in public places. The surprising thing, when I was reading the comments, was that they twisted into an argument about transvestites being allowed in women's changing rooms.
That sexual binary, coming back to bite us in the ass. Persephone, the woman arguing to keep "all non-women" out of female locker rooms, etc, really leaves me confused. Is it that she is afraid of being looked at with desire (aka she's never heard of lesbians), or that she's afraid of seeing physical differences (aka she's never seen anyone else's body)?
I'm not really sure I'm equipped to take up this topic. But it does bring to mind a Southpark episode that my brother references often, in which a character had a "species-change operation" and was offended when the football stadium didn't have seating for dolphins. What does Persephone want, a third room in all public areas for Other?
Frankly, I haven't been to a gym or any public changing room in forever, because it makes me feel horribly anxious. It's not that I'm worried that other people will check me out. It's not that I'm worried about being roughed up after checking someone else out. It's that I'm worried about making someone else feel uncomfortable, just knowing I'm there, possibly checking them out.
And that's pretty awful. I like swimming, and I haven't gone to the public pool at the Y across the street because I know there are people out there like Persephone.
I don't consider myself a champion of gay rights. Or a champion of feminism. I consider myself a regular person who tries to slap down prejudice whenever it pops up. Sometimes it's like a Whack-A-Mole, but most of the time it seems like a non-issue.
What else is there?
Monday, February 25, 2008
No Doz (ing Through College)
I want to go back to school. I'm torn between two different colleges. I've tried listing the pros and cons of each, and there's a clear "obvious" choice, but there are a lot of emotions tied up that don't translate well to a pros/cons list...
[This entire post is basically a response to Liz's College...again post, and her question about what makes college great. One of the things that makes it great is the opportunity to meet people other than those who simply happened to be born in your county. People like Liz. Check out her blog.]
College is pretty great. Not only do you restart your friend base, you restart yourself. Not that it's easy to change from who you were into who you want to be, but here's your first real chance to try (that is, if you never transferred grade schools, which I didn't.)
And it's remarkably social. I'm grateful for the education I received in the classroom, which is one of the main reasons I'm drawn back to Oswego--but I valued even more the education I received at parties, social outings, shared apartments... Growing up never really ends, as far as I can tell (though I'm only 22, so I'm not sure I'm qualified yet to make that decision, but I do know that when I was 12, 22 was adult) but a lot of growing up happened in college. Realizing what matters in your life, sorting out what was important to you in the past only because it was important to your parents, teachers, peer group... A lot of the stupid stuff falls away.
That's not to say that college is a fantasy world. I gritted my teeth and got through high school--which is strange, because for the most part I actively enjoyed high school--with the thought that when I got to college, I would basically be walking on to the set of Friends. I assumed my friends would all read the same books as me and we'd sit around talking about philosophy over steaming cups of organic tea.
Reality was pretty far from my dreams. Oh, don't worry--I found a group of friends who I related to on a very deep level. I just wasn't the person I had always believed. My friends and I took part in such educational activities as hitting the bars every weekend, playing darts and sharing pitcher after pitcher of the cheapest beer in town. We took turns crushing No Doz pills for bumping off of each others' rippling abs, a body image achieved through ritualistic group purging. Kidding! But we did have the occassional crazy party, with the too-occassional alcohol poisoning. I can't say that we really passed around any books. Wait, yes, we passed around the textbook for Kestas' chem class...we shared the textbook for Intro to Astronomy...
And when I eventually realized that we weren't conforming to the image of "literary university students" to which I had jacked off long ago (not literally!), I heaved a sigh of relief. Because we meshed well together the way we were. Because we helped each other get through the issues associated with living on our own for the first time. Because, as crazy as it seems, we didn't need help from a TV show to figure out who we really were.
A lot of my favorite times were at the end of the day when Jenna and I would talk about what all the crazy people said when they spoke up during class. Or at the catering job I had with Jessica and Dana. A few more were when we went to watch Rachel, Catherine, and Mackenzie play hockey. Or our coed hockey team with Kevin. Or getting 3 hour rides home with Ben and making him teach me about chemistry.
Part of what makes me want to go back to Oswego is the thought that if that awesome group came together once, something like it could happen again... Another part tells me not to force the issue, and to look for new friends in a new place. Then again, Jenna's headed to that part of the state. WHAT WILL I DO?
Good thing there're still a few more months to ruminate on this choice. The one thing I do know--this time, I'm looking forward to a bit more scholarly learning, having gotten enough (maybe) out of my first social education. Though, come to think of it, every day is a new lesson in social education. This year, I'm stuck in a class that's bound to help me in my future interaction with kids (hopefully my own, someday) but that isn't really advancing my other goals.
However: here's to being debt-free by the time I start picking up college classes again!
[This entire post is basically a response to Liz's College...again post, and her question about what makes college great. One of the things that makes it great is the opportunity to meet people other than those who simply happened to be born in your county. People like Liz. Check out her blog.]
College is pretty great. Not only do you restart your friend base, you restart yourself. Not that it's easy to change from who you were into who you want to be, but here's your first real chance to try (that is, if you never transferred grade schools, which I didn't.)
And it's remarkably social. I'm grateful for the education I received in the classroom, which is one of the main reasons I'm drawn back to Oswego--but I valued even more the education I received at parties, social outings, shared apartments... Growing up never really ends, as far as I can tell (though I'm only 22, so I'm not sure I'm qualified yet to make that decision, but I do know that when I was 12, 22 was adult) but a lot of growing up happened in college. Realizing what matters in your life, sorting out what was important to you in the past only because it was important to your parents, teachers, peer group... A lot of the stupid stuff falls away.
That's not to say that college is a fantasy world. I gritted my teeth and got through high school--which is strange, because for the most part I actively enjoyed high school--with the thought that when I got to college, I would basically be walking on to the set of Friends. I assumed my friends would all read the same books as me and we'd sit around talking about philosophy over steaming cups of organic tea.
Reality was pretty far from my dreams. Oh, don't worry--I found a group of friends who I related to on a very deep level. I just wasn't the person I had always believed. My friends and I took part in such educational activities as hitting the bars every weekend, playing darts and sharing pitcher after pitcher of the cheapest beer in town. We took turns crushing No Doz pills for bumping off of each others' rippling abs, a body image achieved through ritualistic group purging. Kidding! But we did have the occassional crazy party, with the too-occassional alcohol poisoning. I can't say that we really passed around any books. Wait, yes, we passed around the textbook for Kestas' chem class...we shared the textbook for Intro to Astronomy...
And when I eventually realized that we weren't conforming to the image of "literary university students" to which I had jacked off long ago (not literally!), I heaved a sigh of relief. Because we meshed well together the way we were. Because we helped each other get through the issues associated with living on our own for the first time. Because, as crazy as it seems, we didn't need help from a TV show to figure out who we really were.
A lot of my favorite times were at the end of the day when Jenna and I would talk about what all the crazy people said when they spoke up during class. Or at the catering job I had with Jessica and Dana. A few more were when we went to watch Rachel, Catherine, and Mackenzie play hockey. Or our coed hockey team with Kevin. Or getting 3 hour rides home with Ben and making him teach me about chemistry.
Part of what makes me want to go back to Oswego is the thought that if that awesome group came together once, something like it could happen again... Another part tells me not to force the issue, and to look for new friends in a new place. Then again, Jenna's headed to that part of the state. WHAT WILL I DO?
Good thing there're still a few more months to ruminate on this choice. The one thing I do know--this time, I'm looking forward to a bit more scholarly learning, having gotten enough (maybe) out of my first social education. Though, come to think of it, every day is a new lesson in social education. This year, I'm stuck in a class that's bound to help me in my future interaction with kids (hopefully my own, someday) but that isn't really advancing my other goals.
However: here's to being debt-free by the time I start picking up college classes again!
Friday, December 28, 2007
Revolving Resolve
I've already shot ahead on resolution #3 (though I'm seriously lacking in resolution #1). Today I asked a few coworkers if they'd like to go to a jazz bar tonight after work. Fun! Social! Instigated by yours truly!
Actually, I'm pretty pumped about it. I like jazz (it was pretty much the only good music you could go out to hear in Oswego, and though I'd like to debate myself on that, [reference Thursdays? at Old City], I'm not going to--reference the guy who was good at Old City playing jazz on Wednesdays at King Arthurs) , and I like bars--it seems a perfect combination.
So I'm doing well on resolution 3, but not so well on 1. As a matter of fact, I'm failing dismally. Today I'm being callous about a sick coworker, and I've only let that abate because I don't have to cover her class after all. I was about to start teaching it when Matt walked into the room and said, Why are you teaching this, I'm her sub... So we rock-paper-scissored and he got stuck with it. Sweet!
And I'm being additionally callous about some friends that I'm trying to drop here because I just don't like them that much and no matter how often I say something isn't appropriate, they don't adjust or even filter themselves when around me, so forget that. I think I'm doing the right thing but that's pretty much the definition of callous.
I do have one more New Year's Resolution to make. Resolution #5: Buy friends things. I have plenty of money, I have generous impulses, but I end up spending a lot of money at the bar and I don't even know where it goes. So I'm going to make some headway on that as soon as possible. Maybe you'll be the next to feel the benefit!
Right now, I'm going to get another cup of coffee (which tends to assist me in all of my resolutions), then either prep for my classes--yeah right-- or go to the paper store--probably not-- or look up a couple books that my friends might like receiving.
Peace!
Actually, I'm pretty pumped about it. I like jazz (it was pretty much the only good music you could go out to hear in Oswego, and though I'd like to debate myself on that, [reference Thursdays? at Old City], I'm not going to--reference the guy who was good at Old City playing jazz on Wednesdays at King Arthurs) , and I like bars--it seems a perfect combination.
So I'm doing well on resolution 3, but not so well on 1. As a matter of fact, I'm failing dismally. Today I'm being callous about a sick coworker, and I've only let that abate because I don't have to cover her class after all. I was about to start teaching it when Matt walked into the room and said, Why are you teaching this, I'm her sub... So we rock-paper-scissored and he got stuck with it. Sweet!
And I'm being additionally callous about some friends that I'm trying to drop here because I just don't like them that much and no matter how often I say something isn't appropriate, they don't adjust or even filter themselves when around me, so forget that. I think I'm doing the right thing but that's pretty much the definition of callous.
I do have one more New Year's Resolution to make. Resolution #5: Buy friends things. I have plenty of money, I have generous impulses, but I end up spending a lot of money at the bar and I don't even know where it goes. So I'm going to make some headway on that as soon as possible. Maybe you'll be the next to feel the benefit!
Right now, I'm going to get another cup of coffee (which tends to assist me in all of my resolutions), then either prep for my classes--yeah right-- or go to the paper store--probably not-- or look up a couple books that my friends might like receiving.
Peace!
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