Proposed Timeline

Pre-China 2009:

Feb-save $200; pay Mom $200+ for tuition
Mar-save $200+; pay Mom $500 for tuition
Apr-save $500+; pay Mom $300 for tuition
May-save $500+
Jun-give notice at work; enjoy spring
Jul-live in Hanford Bay. Visit Adirondacks. Thoroughly enjoy summer.
Aug 12-depart for China

Listlessly, SoKo

I've only got 6 weeks left in Korea.

To Do in Korea:
-Insadong market
-Namdemun to find chopsticks
-Yaeju to buy more ceramics
-Mudfest on the west coast
-Suwon soccer
-Suwon nightly street carnival

Then I'll be heading to NYC, Japan en route?

To Do in NYC:
-Statue of Liberty
-Guggenheim museum
-Ellis Island
-Central Park

And finally, home to Hanford Bay.

To Do in HB:
-eat at the deli
-walk on the breakwall
-play Risk
-camp on the cliff
-go bridge jumping
-have a lot of bonfires

This is how I'm spending my time. Making lists of what I'll do soon. Feels a little wasteful, to be honest. Still can't stop. Last night I used my dictionary to look up listless, despondent, and dejected. Only listless applies to the feeling I have when I'm lying in bed reading at 1:20am and I'm not tired enough to sleep and yet I can't continue reading.

So I'm listless and making lists like it's nobody's business.

i WILL remain senile

.
....Reasons I Don't Want Diabetes:
Hana. It causes Alzheimer's.
Dul. It causes ED.
Set. To be continued.
....Steps I Will Take To Avoid Diabetes:
Hana. Go back to drinking my coffee black.
Dul. Reduce my carb intake?
Set. Research what actually causes diabetes. Maybe change my ancestry, to boot.

I Love Craig's List

I'm no longer worried about where to find an apartment. I have confidence that CraigsList is going to come through for me, as long as I wait til I'm back in Buffalo. Now I just need to get to work motivating the people I want to live with me. (Hear that, Jenna, Brandon, and Tami?)

I still need to figure out the job situation. I really can't afford to go jobless for any stretch of time once I'm back in the states, and since that's coming up in less than four months, I feel that I really need to narrow it down. I'll keep you posted on how that goes--keep me posted on any further ideas.

I'm almost finished with For Whom The Bell Tolls by Ernest Hemingway. I'm thrilled with it, it was way better than A Farewell To Arms, and I suggest you run right out and get it from your local dosagwan because it's fantastic.

And that's all there is for today.

119 Days To Go

My desire to live in Buffalo (because of many reasons including family ties) brings certain issues to the forefront.

1. I must have a place to live.
2. I must have a place to work.

How will I find an apartment when I'm 12,000 miles away?

Ditto for a job?

Hit the comments section with any tips. Vague is OK; specific is spectacular.

[Update: I've checked out BuffaloJobFinder.com and Monster.com. Looks promising, if I keep checking as August approaches. As for apartments, just found BuffaloApartments.com. I've looked for both on www.craigslist.org. Any other resources, offline as well as on?]

Hypocrite with a Cushy Job

Hypocrite in a Pouffy White Dress was hilarious. I seriously recommend picking it up at your local library. (Here I'm being hypocritical--I haven't even set foot in the Suji dosagwan, and it's right across the street from my apartment building.)

I've been putting some thought into the kind of work I might hope to start when I'm through with my contract in August. So far, I see three clear options:

1. Food service. I loved catering, so that might be a good option. Though I doubt any job will ever be as cake as that one was. I've also been thinking about how important it is to me to learn how to cook more varied dishes... I might look for a job in the kitchen of some vegetarian restaurant.

2. Customer service. I'm incredibly patient, I have a wide vocabulary of subservience, and I love being behind-the-scenes.

3. Tutoring. Frankly, I'm kind of hoping to pick up some tutoring work no matter what other work I do.

The big issue is balancing my wish to live in Buffalo with my wish to support myself. Are there jobs in Buffalo? For what am I qualified? What can I get that I won't just quit after a few days?

The second biggest issue is my desire not to own a car. It would be a serious conflict of my general life philosophy if I started guzzling gas. Particularly since I think the best way to cut a lot of the impetus for war in the Middle East would be to severely reduce our dependency on gasoline.

No Doz (ing Through College)

I want to go back to school. I'm torn between two different colleges. I've tried listing the pros and cons of each, and there's a clear "obvious" choice, but there are a lot of emotions tied up that don't translate well to a pros/cons list...

[This entire post is basically a response to Liz's College...again post, and her question about what makes college great. One of the things that makes it great is the opportunity to meet people other than those who simply happened to be born in your county. People like Liz. Check out her blog.]

College is pretty great. Not only do you restart your friend base, you restart yourself. Not that it's easy to change from who you were into who you want to be, but here's your first real chance to try (that is, if you never transferred grade schools, which I didn't.)

And it's remarkably social. I'm grateful for the education I received in the classroom, which is one of the main reasons I'm drawn back to Oswego--but I valued even more the education I received at parties, social outings, shared apartments... Growing up never really ends, as far as I can tell (though I'm only 22, so I'm not sure I'm qualified yet to make that decision, but I do know that when I was 12, 22 was adult) but a lot of growing up happened in college. Realizing what matters in your life, sorting out what was important to you in the past only because it was important to your parents, teachers, peer group... A lot of the stupid stuff falls away.

That's not to say that college is a fantasy world. I gritted my teeth and got through high school--which is strange, because for the most part I actively enjoyed high school--with the thought that when I got to college, I would basically be walking on to the set of Friends. I assumed my friends would all read the same books as me and we'd sit around talking about philosophy over steaming cups of organic tea.

Reality was pretty far from my dreams. Oh, don't worry--I found a group of friends who I related to on a very deep level. I just wasn't the person I had always believed. My friends and I took part in such educational activities as hitting the bars every weekend, playing darts and sharing pitcher after pitcher of the cheapest beer in town. We took turns crushing No Doz pills for bumping off of each others' rippling abs, a body image achieved through ritualistic group purging. Kidding! But we did have the occassional crazy party, with the too-occassional alcohol poisoning. I can't say that we really passed around any books. Wait, yes, we passed around the textbook for Kestas' chem class...we shared the textbook for Intro to Astronomy...

And when I eventually realized that we weren't conforming to the image of "literary university students" to which I had jacked off long ago (not literally!), I heaved a sigh of relief. Because we meshed well together the way we were. Because we helped each other get through the issues associated with living on our own for the first time. Because, as crazy as it seems, we didn't need help from a TV show to figure out who we really were.

A lot of my favorite times were at the end of the day when Jenna and I would talk about what all the crazy people said when they spoke up during class. Or at the catering job I had with Jessica and Dana. A few more were when we went to watch Rachel, Catherine, and Mackenzie play hockey. Or our coed hockey team with Kevin. Or getting 3 hour rides home with Ben and making him teach me about chemistry.

Part of what makes me want to go back to Oswego is the thought that if that awesome group came together once, something like it could happen again... Another part tells me not to force the issue, and to look for new friends in a new place. Then again, Jenna's headed to that part of the state. WHAT WILL I DO?

Good thing there're still a few more months to ruminate on this choice. The one thing I do know--this time, I'm looking forward to a bit more scholarly learning, having gotten enough (maybe) out of my first social education. Though, come to think of it, every day is a new lesson in social education. This year, I'm stuck in a class that's bound to help me in my future interaction with kids (hopefully my own, someday) but that isn't really advancing my other goals.

However: here's to being debt-free by the time I start picking up college classes again!

Rubbish is Rubbish

Now two-thirds of the way through Richard Girling's book Rubbish: Dirt on our hands and crisis ahead. I'm thinking there's a lot in this book I could have gone without--the entire 20-page section on how great apples and cheese used to be, for example. Then again, it begs the question of how often we need to hear something repeated before we actually do something about it.

I've gotten three implementable ideas out of this book so far.

1. Go to farmer's markets. Buy local. Avoid supermarkets. Not only does this support local economy and (probably) better humanitarian/environmental business practices, it also reduces the transport of the goods you're buying, which helps the environment out a lot.

2. Reduce your personal waste stream. Everything you use goes somewhere. Be more conscious of what you use in a day. For example: how was your lunch packaged? I should be bringing a tupperware container to the restaurant I get kimbop at, but I haven't yet, which means every time I get lunch there, I throw out a plastic bag, a square of tinfoil, and two wooden chopsticks.

3. Do more research about energy production. I don't actually know how feasible wind power is--but I do know that Denmark gets about 20% of its electricity from wind turbines. This book's reminding me of what a false savior nuclear energy is, considering we don't know what to do with it besides bury it (the book is about the UK), and it's going to be around for way longer than we can reasonably guarantee safe storage.

So...my goal of learning about waste disposal and energy production has not been met by reading this book, but it did help me to refine what it is that I want to learn more about. Sweet!

There's a Limit to my Universe

Being on vacation for six days sounded like just what we all needed. And it didn't seem too ludicrous to whip up a fresh to-do list out of all those things I've been putting off. Some things ended up getting accomplished, and some didn't.

Still To Do:
-Planning of a trip to Thailand (I did buy Fodor's Guide, though).
-Planning of another two years at SUNY Oswego.

DONE:
-Planning of a trip to the Adirondacks (Top 4 High Peaks, here I(we?) come).
-Major weeding of my "Currently Reading" list. Now I'm actually reading one.
-Quitting drinking alcohol.

It's not that I feel the need to purge myself of all my vices this year (reference resolutions), it's just that some things are important and some people matter enough to forget about your own Charlie-Browning.

The book I'm currently reading: The Elegant Universe by Brian Greene. Pretty wild.

Down The Drain

When I think hard about money (which happens about twice a month, first when I wire money home and then again when I'm dolling that money out to pay my debts), I sometimes wonder how all this work I'm doing is going to look, down the line. Will I be able to buy a house with greater ease, all because I paid off my college debt quickly? Or am I going to be SOL because of that one time I made a late payment on my credit card?

It's times like those that I really appreciate Liz Pulliam Weston, MSN's money blogger.

Actually, I'll be honest--I never think about her at those times. I never think about the future either, unless it's to bask in the idea of being debt-free in a few months. (Only with hopes to go back to school and get that debt right back... I mean, it's been my constant companion for almost five years now, who wouldn't miss it?) When I do think about Liz Pulliam Weston is when I'm considering my credit score, which is usually just after I've logged out of hotmail and one of her articles catches my eye. I keep meaning to check my own credit score for free, because I really would like to know how much that late payment set me back. I've had credit cards for five years, so have I been developing good credit? One of my friends told me that you have to mess up your credit before they start keeping score--sounds stupid, but who am I to say?

The point is, if you've somehow missed out on Liz Pulliam Weston before this, I think she's pretty helpful. Not that I know whether she's full of it or not--she's just a handy resource to do that first bit of learning you need to get you moving.

See...oh, two?

For some reason or another, the planet has always seemed kinda important to me. Maybe it's just the way I was raised, though I like to believe that even if I hadn't had a new-age mother, I would still have arrived at the conclusion that we need to take care of our only home.

Maybe it's the science fiction I read constantly growing up, a consistent reminder that there is a future to look to. Kids who will need a place to grow up. Of course, in those stories, the kids were often growing up on new worlds, but it's become clear to me (and hopefully everyone) that we're not starting off-planet manifest destiny any time soon.

That's why I like people like Leah Ingram and her new Green Boot Camp, giving a new idea every week of ways to improve our treatment of our planet.

I made a New Year's resolution to buy things for friends. Would carbon offset credits be a lame gift? I can't decide. It might be what my brother calls a Homer Simpson Bowling Ball--a gift I buy for someone else so that I can get the benefit.

Then again, we're all on this planet, right? So preserving it ought to benefit all of us.

Hmm..

Boil blog for 20 days in skull of witch (Roald Dahl, anyone?)

Resolution #7: Be less verbose. (Aka post shorter blogs.)

Sorry about this recent trend of mine not to do so..

My last blog entry boils down to thinking men should be able to bow out of a fetus's life, and then not have to pay child support, as long as they make it clear that they would prefer an abortion while there's still time.

The entry before that boils down to Resolution #6: No sex this year.

It turns out, the past few "relationships" (and there I'm being kind to myself) I've been in weren't all that useful. I'm hereby renewing my effort to become friends with a potential sig-o before hooking up with said potential sig-o, because all too often I gradually realize they're actually sickoes. Not all that bad--just not all that good.

Also--here's to making positive decisions while drunk. For example, one such positive decision would be to NOT have another beer.

No sleep 'til Brooklyn; no sex 'til New Year's.

An I'm Feeling Lucky of "New Year's Resolution: Abstinence" didn't bring me to anything unsavory, which is pretty lucky indeed considering I'm at work. It did, however, bring me to a mildly encouraging site, full of you-already-know-this's and you-could've-figured-that-out's. Nearly as good as a blog--I mean, someone must have written it, right?

So guess what. I'm adding a new resolution to my list. Up to six, and going strong--because when I turn over a new leaf, I like to rearrange the furniture, as my goofriend Tami once put it. (That was going to be good friend, and then I typoed, and then I decided a goofriend is pretty much what she is. I like serendipitous typos, don't you?)

I'm just about as callous as ever, so that's not been a good resolution. It's hard to change something about myself when I actually don't think I'm callous--I only think I'm SEEN as callous. And then only to people who are too stupid to see the difference between calm/reserved/ponderous/logical and callous. I don't want to be seen as callous, so I guess I should edit the resolution to "Don't be seen as callous." Not sure how to effect that change, though. (Did I use the right word there? ...Yes!)

Checked out one more site--yet again, not a blog. "Dear Dr. Love, is it childish or unreasonable to wait to have sex until I'm in a committed relationship and we've both been tested for STIs? Sincerely, Hesitant in Heat." Such a stupid site I refuse to even provide the link, despite my love affair with write-in personal questions, because it's too vague and obvious. The answer was an unequivocal yes, of course. Yes, in Heat, you are being unreasonable. As a college-aged youngster, you are expected to be loose and endlessly available, and not meeting those expectations is just like failing a class. When are you going to learn the proper sexual techniques, if not now?

My second resolution is slumbering right now, with a desire to push on after January. I'm reading a couple good books right now, two of them non-fiction(!!!1) and I'm teaching about 10 hours a day. Once I get through this overtime stretch, I'll begin my self-education about power plants, waste disposal, and calculus. At least, that's a good thing to tell myself, when I see that I'm doing nothing to further that resolution. Maybe this week I'll order some books on the topics online. That way I can say I'll get started as soon as they arrive, and I would have started already if they'd have arrived already.

My third resolution...what was it? Ahh. Become more outgoing. Well, in fact, I ate lunch alone today, as I do most days, but I don't think that's a sign that I'm failing. Despite the jazz outing fizzling and dying last weekend, I persevered and made it happen this time around! On Saturday we headed out to Jungja and heard some jazz. The bar was ridiculously expensive ($8 for the average beer, $300 for the average bottle of liquor) so we headed out after only two beers to play some pool. A fine outing, all in all, despite the fact that I had to strip and shower immediately upon returning home. NY, cherish your smokefreeism.

Fourth. Out of debt. I haven't even sent any money home this month(/year) yet, which means I haven't paid any bills yet, which means I'm not getting out of debt very fast. Also, I did just buy some sweet raised wooden (plastic) flooring for my bathroom, which was relatively necessary because it was ridiculously cheap and now I can walk in there with socks after taking a shower. In case you didn't realize, showers in Korea drain into the center of the bathroom. This is because we just have one open shoot running down the center of our apartment building, and all of our used water goes down this shoot. You can look down the shoot and see the pool where it gathers beneath the building, though we've found that's not a great idea because the people above you may be about to flush. It's highly beneficial to be on the top floor, like me, but even then we have flat roofs and if it has rained recently it might still be draining down the shoot. (Cough cough BS cough)

Fifth...Buy friends things. Well, I did just buy my brother a few things (hangers, a notebook with a Little Prince quote on the cover) but I meant more non-family than family when I said friends. It's hard when I don't have many friends here I think are worth a present, and I'm so far away from my friends from home. Then again, that's probably what makes it an even better idea.

Sixth. No sex this year.

On the plus side, there are many fine used book stores around online. You can pay 50 cent for a book and he'll ship it to you for only around 5 dolla, bringing your total to about $6.47. Don't ask me where those extra fees come in.

Peace, love, and chicken grease.

Revolving Resolve

I've already shot ahead on resolution #3 (though I'm seriously lacking in resolution #1). Today I asked a few coworkers if they'd like to go to a jazz bar tonight after work. Fun! Social! Instigated by yours truly!

Actually, I'm pretty pumped about it. I like jazz (it was pretty much the only good music you could go out to hear in Oswego, and though I'd like to debate myself on that, [reference Thursdays? at Old City], I'm not going to--reference the guy who was good at Old City playing jazz on Wednesdays at King Arthurs) , and I like bars--it seems a perfect combination.

So I'm doing well on resolution 3, but not so well on 1. As a matter of fact, I'm failing dismally. Today I'm being callous about a sick coworker, and I've only let that abate because I don't have to cover her class after all. I was about to start teaching it when Matt walked into the room and said, Why are you teaching this, I'm her sub... So we rock-paper-scissored and he got stuck with it. Sweet!

And I'm being additionally callous about some friends that I'm trying to drop here because I just don't like them that much and no matter how often I say something isn't appropriate, they don't adjust or even filter themselves when around me, so forget that. I think I'm doing the right thing but that's pretty much the definition of callous.

I do have one more New Year's Resolution to make. Resolution #5: Buy friends things. I have plenty of money, I have generous impulses, but I end up spending a lot of money at the bar and I don't even know where it goes. So I'm going to make some headway on that as soon as possible. Maybe you'll be the next to feel the benefit!

Right now, I'm going to get another cup of coffee (which tends to assist me in all of my resolutions), then either prep for my classes--yeah right-- or go to the paper store--probably not-- or look up a couple books that my friends might like receiving.

Peace!

what the hell...spring for the greater of two evils.

In a sincere effort to be a good human, I've recently realized it'll be necessary to avoid talking to certain people as much as possible. I think there's something to be said for repairing unneccessary heartache, especially if I'm the root cause, and I've made an attempt to do so. Sometimes, though, the best thing I can do is distance myself so as not to do any further damage.

In this spirit of bettering myself, it has suddenly occurred to me that New Year's resolutions might be a good idea. I've never had any serious ones, but I'm going to make around four.

1. Don't be callous.
2. Learn more about power plants, waste disposal, and calculus.
3. Become more outgoing.
4. Get out of debt.

Alright, #4 is kind of lame, since four months ago I already committed a year of my life to paying off my college debt. (I understand that a year sounds like a short time to pay off college debt, but I had to invest a lot into this--reference being on the other side of the world. Interesting fact: the sidewalks are made out of metal and we all have to wear magnetic shoes. When we go indoors, we just do a little flip and the building holds us up. Don't even ask me how they anchor the buildings, because I haven't learned much about their magic yet.)

And #3 is just something I've been meaning to do anyway, especially after my main social connection, my best day-to-day friend, told me I was the biggest mistake of his life. I'm going to work on knowing current events so that they can be conversation topics. I'm going to work on number two so that I can talk about the topics that actually interest me.

#2 mainly stems from my desire to quit fucking up our planet, because among the buffet of pick-and-choose bible quotes that I was raised on, one of my favorites has always been "First remove the beam from your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck of chaff that is in your brother's eye." I want to learn to be perfect in my own habits so that I can start proselytizing. And of course, by that I mean converting people to my faith. My faith being in the fact that the earth is important.

And #1...how am I going to manage that one? Sounds hard. I'll try to be more emotional, though. Big reaction when actually I think it's no big deal. I'm going to test-drive the belief that being fake is better than being dull!

That exclamation point shows how exciting the new me is.