Reproductive rights: I've talked about them before and I'm about to get going again. Should men have some kind of abortion rights?
I think so. I think it's an important part of a couple's life together, and since they both had input on forming that embryo, they should both have input on ending that embryo.
Don't get me wrong. I'm a feminist. I think women are equal to men, and any laws or customs that create inequality are completely wrongheaded and need to be changed.
I'm also pro-choice. Very much so. I think abortion is an excellent idea for tons of people. I don't think having the baby and putting it up for adoption is a good idea. I think abortion is better. I don't think having the baby and raising it even when you don't want to is a good idea. I think abortion is better.
But I do think that men and women both have something to do with forming that fetus, and they should both have something to say about ending it. Before I go too far down this road, I think there are about four situations that are pretty likely to occur.
1. The man and the woman both want the baby. (Why would abortion even be brought up?)
2. The man wants the baby and the woman doesn't.
3. The man doesn't want the baby and the woman does.
4. Neither the man nor the woman want the baby. (Abort! Abort!)
So let's focus on situations two and three. Obviously there is some kind of scale here, not just a black-and-white, but right now I'm concerned about these drastic extremes.
Situation 2. The man wants the baby and the woman doesn't. [Please, don't get offended by my use of 'baby'--I mean, the woman eventually wants the baby that may develop out of the cells they're considering cancelling. The man wants nothing to do with that possible baby.]
I believe that the woman has the final choice in whether or not to develop and birth that baby. Should there be an option for the man to say, "Give me that, I'm keeping it, I'm raising it, get out of here"? Maybe...is that even possible, though? Forcing a woman to carry a pregnancy to term is a huge violation of her rights, as far as I'm concerned. Evolution hasn't given us much choice on this issue, either. Has science provided a test-tube (or petri dish) to transfer that collection of cells into, so the woman can wash her hands and the man can feed it or whatever needs to be done, and then later raise the resulting child? I have no idea, but I doubt it. So all I'm asking in this situation is that the woman seriously consider the man's wishes. And the man seriously consider whether he's ready to raise that child alone.
Situation 3. The man doesn't want the baby, but the woman does. We're talking, before the sonogram shows something that a layperson would recognize. Or at least before whatever sign there is for us nowadays that says, "Sorry, abortion isn't an option any more." Does the man get to decide whether or not to have the baby? The woman wants it, and the man doesn't. So she keeps it, since she's in control of that decision. And then she says, this is your baby, so you better cough up the dough. Obviously, having a child is such a huge pain in the ass (and I don't mean just the birthing process, I mean everything after that for years and years) that women are pretty unlikely to give birth just to get some money. Sure, it may happen, but I'm not going to get into that because as I say, it's gotta be pretty uncommon.
The man doesn't want the baby. He said so, right from the beginning. She said, too bad buster, you're along for this ride. He said, but shouldn't I get a choice? She said, you bought the ticket when you got in my bed. He said, but then doesn't that mean women shouldn't be allowed to choose to have abortions either? She said, no, you misogynist asshole, just cough up the dough.
That's where this conversation seems to head. A willful ignoring of the man's position in the argument. I don't know where to go from here. I'm just glad I'm not pregnant, because I'd probably think like a woman. And I'm glad I don't have a pregnant girlfriend, because I'd probably think like me, and she'd probably attack me with an axe. And I'd probably forgive her without feeling like she even listened to me.
Consider checking out the LATimes article that got the ball rolling here. It seems to suggest that because I'm pro-men's-voice, I'm anti-abortion. I'm not. I just think men have a legal out from supporting a child they don't want. I'd add "and they shouldn't be denied a child they do want," but as I've mentioned, I don't think it's anything along the lines of right to force a woman to give birth, so until I learn more about test tube births, I'll have to scrap that.
The article also gives me this creeping feeling that I've got to hate on "men's rights" even if I'm pro-choice because anti-abortionists will twist my support to mean that I am against abortion.
I have a problem with the slippery slope. Reference the war on drugs. (That doesn't entirely support my point but it's my favorite thing I found while searching.)
Anyway...I'm not asking anyone not to get an abortion. I'm just trying to figure out some reason why men shouldn't have more of a say in laws that can bind them to children they asked not to have.
No comments:
Post a Comment